Perseverance


"You've got to say, if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it." That's what Lee Iococca called perseverance. 

It's a mantra I've been repeating to myself a lot lately. I've reached the 50 lb mark and have been a little stuck for almost a month. I've been struggling to stick to the program, to adapt to the change in my body and to get past this HUGE (and amazing) milestone! 


And to not sink into old eating patterns. Aahh the slippery slope that starts with just one... just one cupcake or one drink or one pizza or one ... way too many 'just ones' = weight creeping on again. I can feel it happening.  (But just a little) I am mindful of the fit of my new 'skinny' jeans. Today there was less of them and more of my body. 


A friend once told me that I couldn't handle being thin. He was right, in a way. I can't. Well, I couldn't.  But I'm learning. As a fat person, I am invisible. Unseen. A cellophane observer of the turning world around me. 

But now, the invisibility cloak of chub has worn thin. People can see me again for the first time in years. I am no longer invisible. There is a certain danger in this that's been causing me to eat more again. On a subconscious level it seems I am anxious to restore my own non-existence. I think this is the reason for the yo-yo effect.


But I am determined to stop it this time. 

Perseverance is the key. That along with motivation and courage. And the willingness to face head on whatever fears and shadows are lurking in the psyche.


FEAR.  False Evidence Appearing Real  (I just learned that from Karynne Boese of dreamliving.org, isn't it fabulous???)  


Fear, like shadow, disappears when light is shined on it. 

Knowing this is the key to reaching all your goals in life. So today, remember this ... no matter what your goals are, YOU CAN ACHIEVE THEM!  Just keep going, even when you think you can't go any further ... take one more step!

Lessons from the Past

Funny how the Universe brings people back into your life at the perfect moment. I've been struggling with some very core issues regarding my weight.

Ideas that somehow solidified back in 6th grade and stuck.

Things like I'm a FAT (I was teased mercilessly by two mean boys in my class - who taunted me and called me ELEPHANT on a daily basis) And my other favorite, because I couldn't stick to a diet I was a failure, unable to achieve any goal I set.

Yep. I spent much of my life under the shadows of this stuff! It sucks growing up large in LA.

But alas, I've done the work and those ghosts have long gone, or so I thought. While cleansing, there are occasions when these thoughts still rear their ugly heads.  Here's where Universal timing comes in.

A few weeks ago, while I was knee deep in the muck of my past, I got a call out of the blue from my 6th grade friend Kim P.  (We'd re-connected on Facebook, which was very cool!)  We talked for about 45 minutes.

Here's the irony.  I remembered myself as the fat girl who was a sloth and did nothing.  She remembered an athletic girl who wasn't rail skinny, but who was thin and active and healthy.  She reminded me I was always swimming and riding horses! Seriously, her perception of me was 180 degrees of what I thought of myself.  As mine was of her.

I always thought she was so thin.  She had these long, lean legs and to my recollection was seriously skinny!  But in her mind, she was the fat one!  Can you believe it?

She also reminded me that when I left in 7th grade and came back to visit, I was 'totally skinny.'  She was right, it was after my first ever crash diet .... at age 13 I created the Dexatrim and Tab cola and Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup diet!  Yep, I wouldn't eat all day, I'd take Dexatrim and drink Tab to suppress my appetite and finally, at dinner eat a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup!  My poor parents!  I remember being perpetually hungry and mean as a rabid dog!  Hey, but I was thin! LOL!

Can you say not sustainable???  Thankfully now, I am an adult making better choices.  My paradigm has shifted ... from THIN to HEALTHY.  I am grateful to Isagenix every day for providing me with a healthy option to release not only the weight, but also the baggage from my past!

Anyone else out there want to share their craziest crash diet??