Struggling with Eating (Part 1 of 5)

I haven't written in a while because I've been struggling with the eating. Not exactly the strong finish I wanted for the Isabody Challenge, but it is what it is ...

I feel like the hero at the end of the journey ... you know the one who comes so far and must face the final ordeal before crossing to the next level.  That's where I'm at.

First of all, what is it with the feeling of never being full, the concept of never enough or not 'done'?

Ever since I wrote about emotional eating, it seems the ghosts of the past have haunted me.

Don't get me wrong, amazing things have happened too ..

Let's start with the tough stuff and get it out of the way... I have a potato chip obsession. In the past two weeks on three separate occasions, I've eaten a whole bag of Lay's Potato Chips!  (I can't believe I'm confessing this in public, but here it is... )   I call it Food Temper Tantrums ... acting out.  I was angry, I didn't even know at what ... maybe it was at life, maybe it was at the constant challenges of being an entrepreneur, maybe it was because I just wanted to be done with the diet.  Oops, done with the diet???

Seriously, did I just say that???  Goes to show you how deeply damaged my 'fat' head is.  Isagenix isn't a diet. It's a way of life.  It's a way of putting balanced nutrition into your body, so your brain chemistry is prepared to deal with the struggles of weight release.  Not everyone is like me, broken with a 'fat' head.

But for those of you who are, you understand where I've been at. Struggling to really confront the past and face it head on, to call out the shadows of the secret trough eating society,  and to figure out the mystery of not enough and never done.  I'll let you know when I have answers, because to date ... still there's nothing.

I will say that one moment at time, I'm fighting this battle. I'm counting successes not failures.

Like yesterday .. in Rite Aid, and all of a sudden straight in front of me - Doritos Nacho Cheese  - my high school go-to food drug!  Weirdness happened.  I'm transported to being 15 again, and making a beeline for the chips!  Seriously!  My inner teenager almost commandeered my brain and my wallet.  ALMOST.

Until the adult me, wearing the healthy well-fed, chemically balanced Isagenix brain put a stop to it.

Just like that. No the answer was no. Not no never, ever, ever ... just no not today. For some reason that made a difference.  Small shifts, consistent mindfulness ... this is how to meet weight-release goals.

One situation at time, one challenge at a time, one choice at a time.

I'll be back with more on this soon. Part 2 is about exercise ... and making it fun!