Somewhat in a Funk, but Grateful

So today I am still somewhat in a funk, but it's better. To keep myself from going over the edge food-wise has taken Herculean effort the past few days. Thoughts like 'eat, this is never going to work, eat, this is taking too long, eat, you're fat and always will be' keep recurring like that horrible song that gets stuck in your head. Playing over and over and over again.

To combat this, I changed 'this is never going to happen' to 'this is happening.' Great things are rarely achieved overnight. It made me think of the Grand Canyon ... this gorgeous crevice has taken about 17 million years to be carved by the Colorado River. But just look at it now. Awe-inspiring, breathtaking ... a spiritual mecca and natural wonder. Not that I'm comparing myself to the Grand Canyon ... I mean, I've only 24 weeks to transform for the Isabody Challenge. But still ... this point is to have patience and faith and stay the course. Transformation doesn't happen overnight.

So yeah, I'm still in a weird place, but I'm grateful. Grateful for where I am. Grateful for how far I've come, and yes, begrudgingly, I am grateful for how far I have left to go.

It's Dark in Here Today ...

Am in a funk today. And it got me to wondering if the feelings I was feeling when I put on the weight are coming back as I'm releasing it. Has anyone ever studied that? Could be a reason so many people abandon the journey to fitness along the way. This stuff can be scary. Ghosts appear. Love lost resurfaces. Loneliness lies looming. Coping can be a challenge.

Currently, I'm finding myself listening to an OCD version of Lakme by Delibes. Seriously, how many people besides me (and B'Elf) would find it comforting to listen to an opera about a Princess who falls in love with the wrong guy then offs herself to save her honor?

Told you it was dark in here today! But this is about the journey, my journey. Not every day is a good one. Anyone who comes here expecting that will be disappointed. If you want honesty, keep reading.

That said, I see no option but to continue on. Abandoning the Isabody Challenge, turning away from the path just because it's uncomfortable or ugly or dark, is not an option. Although it may not sound like it at this moment, I do have faith -- I depend on the product, I trust the people and I believe in the process.

Wishing you peace and joy today!

New Appetite

So I went to an art exhibit yesterday ... at artist Dale Brown's house. So much fun.

Not that there weren't challenges ... lots of tempting treats, including chocolate chip cookies and Pinot Noir! Managed to steer clear of the challenges, instead I indulged a new appetite -- for ART!

I bought a miniature of Cassie Tondro's painting and a cool bracelet from Jackie Rosen. I really wanted one of Dale's Tin Can Alley dolls ... this one's on my wish list!

B'Elf and the Reindeer

So today is better ... Let B'Elf out to play last night ... he danced with the Evil Muppets and wrestled with the reindeer (they might look like doggies, but with a little B'Elfen magic they grow horns and fly!)

To my happy surprise, the pictures Poppy took last night showed a huge transformation. I forgot I actually have cheekbones! Plus today, pants are baggy again. So all is well in the Universe!

My friends can't get over the change in my body, and it's been less than a month on Isagenix! Someone asked me yesterday if I knew my eyes were sparkly ... I wasn't sure how to respond, what a sweet thing to say! I can't say enough about the huge transformation -- in my body, in my mind and in my soul -- all due to the simple activity of giving my body the nutrition it needs using Isagenix!

So even though yesterday was rocky and I was cranky, I kept walking the walk, didn't lose it entirely. And, yeah, ok, so I admit yesterday's picture of B'Elf was foreshadowing for the evening's activities. There may have been consumption of Hefenweizen involved, but you have to live a little. And that's the point of Isagenix. Life, not perfection. It's ok to enjoy! -- just be conscious of it!

Have a fantastic day!

Bah Humbug ...

Am trying to get into the holiday spirit, although this year it's really tough. Will write more later, but suffice it to say, I've been haunted lately by the spirit of B'Elf ... (Bad Elf) ... he's the naughty one, who hates Christmas because of the pressure to be jolly and the constant yuletide struggle against the dogs of rampant consumerism.

He's also the one who loves to stuff his emotions down! It's how he keeps himself in check. Naughty elves, bad ones, aren't tolerated this time of year. So he eats in secret to temper his pain.

We have a lot in common.

Staying on track for the IsaBody Challenge is going to require some strategy. This is what I'm working on today. How to get through this season, which is filled with all sorts of ghosts of Christmases past, without losing it entirely!

It's really distracting, whatever's lurking in my mind. Static preventing me from functioning at peak capacity. For example, I am dressed to go to a kickboxing class ... I thought I had plenty of time to get there. It starts at one. I just looked at the clock and it's 1:11!!! WTF???

How did that happen? Clearly focus is an issue. So now what? Go have a shake, figure out something festive to bake besides chocolate chip cookies and red velvet cupcakes ... I found a recipe for gingersnaps that's somewhat healthy in the BabyCakes cookbook. So maybe I'll try that.

I can't abandon baking entirely. B'Elf would be too upset. It's one of the things that makes the holidays festive.

Small steps, big breaths and an open mind for creative solutions.

Here's wishing you peace today.

The Bulldog and the Fox

Had my first class at Martial Arts World tonight, and it was so much fun! I'm so grateful to find a new dojo. I'd forgotten how much I missed the training.

Master Winkle is completely inspiring -- he and his wife Katie infuse the gym with the most positive energy. He spoke tonight about the bulldog and the fox. The bulldog is tenacious and holds on with a locked jaw. The fox is lazy, sly and occasionally too smart for his own good.

At Martial Arts World, they encourage feeding the bulldog and starving the fox. This is a really good thing because my bulldog would be very unhappy without food.

Meet Molly, she's a rescue. I always tell people she rescued me!

Cleansing Today ...

I'm cleansing again today ... so far so good.

And now, I've decided (with Mindy's firm but gentle urging ) it's time to get serious about exercise ... I mean, I have been walking with Molly at least times a day, but truthfully that's more like strolling. But that's all about to change.

I'm so excited because Martial Arts World in Burbank is offering a free month to Isabody Challenge members! Can you believe it, what an amazing gift! So that's where I'm headed tomorrow ... to take my first class from Master Winkle and Katie ... will let you know how it goes ...